Saturday, February 9, 2008

RESUMING







I have been gone for a long time. I wanted to return, but I felt that blogging was trivial. Some things have kept me away. First, my daughter has been diagnosed with MS. My wife handled it with her usual grace and aplomb. I, on the other hand was devastated. I tried to hide it, but I was basically nonfunctional over and above my teaching. I have done some research on the disease and I have tried to put a good face on it. But I have basically failed. I turned inside myself and began to feel sorry for myself. I have listened to Elton John music and cried because my daughter and I love his music. The worst of the situation is that I have protected her all her life and now this is something I can't change. This is hard stuff for someone who has been very aggressive all my life and now I am impotent to stop this disease and its effects on my daughter. In other words, I have nothing to fight. Give me an enemy!


I have worked hard to deal with it and I am just now accepting it. My daughter is a rock! She is a certified Social Studies teacher. She is now pursuing a certification in Special Education. She feels a bond with them. I am a pansy, I know, but it is tough for me to accept. I'll get there, because my wife and daughter are better and stronger people than me and they will force me to accept it. I want to fight, they accept. Maybe some day I'll be as tough as they are, but for now I'm working on it.

We have joined the MS society and will be in the walks against the disease, but I feel like it is when we went to her soccer games and cheered for her. Are we just cheerleaders?

9 comments:

The Vegas Art Guy said...

My sister has MS and it can be very tough to deal with. Make sure your daughter gets a good Doctor who knows MS inside and out. It is nice to see you back, you've been missed.

KauaiMark said...

Not much more I can say except, you have my prayers for your daughter and your family.

I think I'd be reacting the same as you. Bad stuff isn't supposed to happen to our kids...

Law and Order Teacher said...

Vegas, and Kauaimark,
Thanks for your thoughts and prayers. These things suck. I'm working on it.

Donald Douglas said...

Your blog has indeed been missed. I've stopped by here many a time, only to find the old comments with no updates.

I'm sorry to hear of the family health issues, but what you've relayed sounds like a natural process of grieving. You'll get your strength back. I'm sure everyone in your family's taking on the new challenges as best as they can.

Be well, and check back over at my place again soon. I'll be updating my blogroll to replace your spot of honor!

And thanks for visiting and commenting on my page. Blogging friends are good to have, especially teachers!!

The Vegas Art Guy said...

She's had it for several years and it's starting to take it's toll on her. But she has not exactly taken care of herself and that part of Wisconsin is not a hotbed of MS specialists if you know what I mean. I do know that horse riding has done wonders for some of her aches and pains, especially in her back and she finally has a good doctor who is aggressive with treatments.

texbookie said...

I am sorry for your daughter's diagnosis and will keep her, you and your wife in my prayers. You probably read her and your wife correct; they are rocks but some people accept things differently than others.

I don't know you but wonder if you are not a little like me, a fixer. When things are beyond my control, I find it very difficult to deal with. If this is the case, try to accept that part of you and fix what you can.

Best wishes from another conservative teacher.

Nunoftheabove

Law and Order Teacher said...

Texbookie,
You are right on the money. I have a hard time accepting something I can't control. I am working on it and I am trying to get control. It is a process. Thanks so much for the post. It is very much appreciated.

rightwingprof said...

I'm very sorry. A friend has MS, and it's not been easy for her.

ms-teacher said...

I'm sorry about hearing the news of your daughter and her illness. Your family will be in my thoughts.